i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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