Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
