he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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