margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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