...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
