let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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