I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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