Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
