that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
