My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
