He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
