So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
