You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
