do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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