What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You pole danced in your parka.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
