38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
