He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
