Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
