Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
