that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
