Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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