Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
