genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
