Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
