its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
