she woke up with a sticky ear
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
