I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
