WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The best revenge is premature balding
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
