if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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