I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
