Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so explain again why im purple
no
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
