i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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