Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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