Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
