Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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