As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
