honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
