How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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