Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
