yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
