Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
