I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
