I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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