I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
