I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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