I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
