i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
