I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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