she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
