I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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