worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
