in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
